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Winter Roses, Part Fin

Dear Livejournal,

I know you have been waiting with bated breath for the last Winter Roses recapalooza. When we last left our heroine her druggie, no good, lying and gossipy sister was found dead as a doornail in NYC. Seems homegirl had OD'd.

And now, for the last ten reasons you know (and love that) you are reading a Diana Palmer novel.


1. The heroine needs to fly to NYC in order to ID her sister's body. She uses "all the money in her savings account" to do so. See previous posts wondering where her money has gone to.

2. The heroine meets and chats with a lovely couple sitting next to her in the "tourist class" section. Tourist class? WTF? Does she mean economy? Coach? Business? First class?

3.The heroine is interviewed by the cops and IDs the body. Then she is told by the officer in charge that she can go to her sister's apartment and collect her things. Apparently the scene has been processed already. Then once she gets there she starts thinking that she shouldn't take much because her sister's drug dealing boyfriend was also living there, and he might claim that everything was his to begin with. In a case where property and ownership is in question, why would the officer in  charge be all  "go and take it all!"?

4. Then the hero (who has flown in on his private jet to support the heroine in her hour of need) find a ton of jewelry on site. The heroine actually thinks "oh, maybe the police have set up a surveillance in the apartment to see who comes to claim the jewelry". Um. I am not even going to bother explaining why that idea is all sorts of crazy. DP must have thought that was crazy too, because she dropped the idea the next page and it was never mentioned again.

5. The heroine and hero find a funeral home and arrange to have her sister cremated. The heroine insists on paying for it herself. Good for her, I say, except there is a small problem. She spent all of her savings on a plane ticket from Texas to NYC!! Apparently she only had 400 bucks in savings... Anyway, where did the magical cremation money come from?

6. While at her sister's apartment the heroine picks up her sister's diary. and when she returns to Texas she discovers that it is actually a logbook recording drug dealing activity. In a very smart move (which I quite admired, actually) the heroine takes it to the Sheriff immediately. In with her sister's mail, there is also a letter from some attorneys making reference to a safety deposit box the sister took out. The Sheriff makes a big deal about wishing they had the key to the box, etc, etc, etc. I am wondering why he just doesn't have the heroine -- the sister's only surviving kin and inheritor of all the sister's possessions -- bring proof of her sister's death to the bank and get access to it that way. Seems much easier than lamenting a lost key. This also makes the Sheriff look lame.

7. The heroine attempts to make a cutting remark to the hero. Her big insult? "I'd rather get together with a snake!" You tell him, sister.

8. The hero gives the heroine (who is in NYC without a nightie, oh noes!) his idea of gawchus sleepwear. What is it you ask? A gown and peignoir set. Now the heroine looks just like Alexis Carrington. Hot and SEXAYY.

9. This one is awesome, you guys. SERIOUSLY. At pretty much the end of the book, for no reason at all, the heroine who was formerly an opera buff-slash-bookkeeper suddenly starts decrying her love for meteorites. METEORITES. I cannot fully express the randomness of this. It is quite literally about a two page rumination of her love for meteorites, including her collection back home in the boardinghouse, and then it is never mentioned again.

10. I really don't have a point ten, but I did want to mention for the record that I am absolutely shocked that there was not one mention of biscuits in the entire story. NOT ONE. I was seriously shocked.

In conclusion, isn't it obvious by now why I love Diana Palmer so? Her stuff is wonderfully nutty, and I seriously cannot get enough.



( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 21st, 2007 01:14 am (UTC)
Oh mah gah. I love these recaps. More! More!

I totally want some biscuits in brown gravy now.

Dood, I should show you a little thing I've been working some time. You'll plotz. For serious.
Nov. 21st, 2007 02:47 am (UTC)
Oh man, you must share. And I was thinking of making this into a bit of a series. But in order to do it, I would need to reread a bunch of old Diana Palmer books. You know, to have them fresh in my mind and all.
Nov. 28th, 2007 04:52 pm (UTC)
You know......admitting you read Diana is kinda like admitting you watch Gossip Girl *glances around* or Rock of Love...never mind that Bret Michaels is looking a bit um used up and 90% of the girls were TOTALLY SLUTTY...not that I watched. I just heard folks talking...ya know.......*whistling*
Jul. 16th, 2008 12:39 am (UTC)
I'm just curious, was this one of her earlier books?
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )



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